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emotional abuse

From: abused mom
Date: 25 Apr 2002
Time: 21:52:22
Remote Name:


My sociopathic monster of an ex emotionally abused me and still does, it has gone on for 8 years. Without going into too much detail I will say that he locked me in closets, stalked me, bugged my phone, told me to kill myself, threw rocks at me, called me worthless, stole my car keys, told me I ruined his life.......all the while hiding his true nature from the outside world. He is fighting me for custody of our 7 year old who has lived with me for 6 years. Since his abuse I have suffered from depression. Now that I am in Therapy and he is aware of my illness he says I am unfit and even dangerous to my son. These claims are untrue.

My reason for writing is that I am begining to notice some signs of emotional abuse in my son. He says he is no good and a failure. He hits himself when he gets frustrated and has little patients for his own mistakes.

He sees a Therapist already but as she has not witnessed these behaviors she can offer little help. What can I do. Currently he sees his Dad every other weekend, I know I can minimize the damage through positive reinforcement and handleing his outbursts with love and patients. He spends enough time with me as it is now. But what if his Dad wins the custody fight, how do I help him then. I don't want my son growing up feeling worthless and even worse an abuser like his Father. His Father learned from his Mother who is also sociopathic. My ex is so far gone that I actually feel sorry for him despite what he has done to me. It breaks my heart to think that 1.)my son may have to live with a bitter vindictive dysfunctional liar that hates his mother with such passion that he would rather see his son grow up without me, (he has said my son would be better of if I was dead). and 2.)Grow up with the same contempt and hatred, unable to cope with reality so he produces his own based upon lies. Lacking self esteem to the point that he must control another and push her down until her spirit breaks.

I must sound slightly obsessed and intesly overly concerned but I have seen abuse from the inside and witnessed actions that belong in a movie of the week. And I know first hand that these behaviors are passed down from parent to child.

So if you have any words of encouragement or advice please send them along.

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