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12 yr old wants to be with mom because of father's abuse

From: angela
Date: 21 Jan 2003
Time: 06:38:12
Remote Name:


My ex and I have had joint custody of my 11 year old daughter soon to be 12, for the last 5 years. She lives with him, and I have visitation. I left him to begin with because he was abusive to me more mentally and verbally than physically, but slapped me around a bit too. He is a huge control freak. He had never done anything to my daughter while we were married, but this last christmas while she was visiting me, she told me about him "punishing" her for things that weren't her fault, like accidents. His punishment choice is usually smacking her in the head hard. So hard she said that it hurts for a few hours. He used to do this to me also because it doesn't show. He always does it when he's angry or outraged which to me is not punishment. She called me again last week to say she accidentally scratched the paint on his truck, and when she told him he smacked her head into the wall! This is too much. There is no way he would respect her wishes and let her come and live with me. I need to know what to do. I don't want to wait to long because since I know about the abuse, I don't want to be accused of puting her in danger and having it be held against me. Also, she is afraid to tell him she wants to come and live with me, because he is big on loyalty also, and only has his best interests at heart not hers. She wants to wait until the summer time when she comes and visits, but I think she might be afraid and put it off longer then also. I know what she is going through. It is very hard to get away from someone who is controlling you emotionally. PLEASE GIVE ME ANY INFORMATION YOU CAN!!! I NEED SOME SERIOUS HELP

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