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9yr old stepson will not have anything to do with me....

From: a good guy.
Date: 25 May 2003
Time: 00:50:24
Remote Name:


I have begun a new relationship 9 months ago and she had just recently left her ex-husband due to severe emotional and psychological abuse. She has 2 kids, 9yr old son and a 15yr old daugther. Every since I have been in contact with my love, the daughter as accepted me but her father has pushed her aside for doing that and the 9yr old son has been manipulated and threatened by his dad that if he accepts me then his dad will push him aside also. This has resulted in an extremely difficult intergration process for myself and it is affecting all of our lives. The son will not even step into my car or go to any activities that I might show up at. He completely losses control when asked why he is acting this way but all his answers are because "Daddy says....". At the early stages of me getting to know him we had a great time playing and laughing together but ever since he spent 6 straight weeks with his dad which was against the join custody agreement he is terrified of interacting with me........ but he is not afraid of me if that makes any sense. I know that his attitude is a reflection of his fathers incapabilites to accept this new changing situation but I feel has if i am letting the son down by not being able to help him brak out of his mind set and at the same time my new love feels that her ex is still control her life through her son. What can we do to break this negative pattern????

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