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What's Wrong With This Picture???

From: Picture-Taker
Conditions of use: accepted & agree
Date: 18 Oct 2004
Time: 19:18:43
Remote Name:


Okay, I have been reading over some of your posts here, and it looks like some of you have some pretty harsh things to say to some people here. I realize that this is a subject that gets the old adrenaline racing, but I hope that you will not be too harsh in your response to me. I have seen some very touching responses also, so I vote for those! Here is my situation: My daughter has been telling me since she was two-years-old that her father was molesting her. People sometimes say that I am crazy to think that a child at age two could tell me such a thing, but she did. I had just come home from work (I supported the family at the time), and she was in the bathtub. She stood up, pointed to her private parts, and told me, "Daddy touched me." And she was upset about it. That was the first time I called CPS. I have called them many times since then, and they don't seem to believe a word I say, at least not in the past. She is now 15, and not only does my ex have a problem with sexual abuse, he also has a problem with physical, emotional and verbal abuse. I was in the women's shelter four times when I was married to him. I finally got myself out of that situation, and I have done everything I can to get my kids out of it. Our divorce was final in 1998, and I was given custody at that time. But he kept taking me back to court over the custody, and he finally won TEMPORARY custody in the year 2000. That was based on the condition that we were supposed to go through a social study, and then back to court within six weeks after that. Well, my ex refused to particpate in the social study, and he refuses to take it back to court, of course. I did not have an attorney at that last hearing in 2000, and I have not been able to find one since then. Everyone tells me to call Legal aide, and I have done that many times. They say they cannot help me, because they have more clients than they can handle. So that temporary court order is still in effect. Then, two weeks ago today, things really came to a head. My daughter and her 18-year-old brother have learned the bad habit of domestic violence, and have begun to use it against my ex. So on that fateful day two weeks ago, my ex had my daughter arrested and thrown in jail because he claims that she "beat him up." This is all so ridiculous, because he is about twice her size, and is perfectly capable of defending himself. I am on disability due to various health problems, but I am doing better now and I am trying to start my own business. I have used up my family savings on lawyers over the years. I have been told by a trusted friend that I should just call some family attorneys and try to find a really good one who offers a free consultation, for starters. He seems to think it will only cost a couple of hundred dollars or so, but I don't think so. I know in the past, I have paid several thousand each time. And the sad thing, is that after paying those several thousands, then my ex finds a way to take it back to court and have everything reversed. But my friend says that if I find a really good attorney this time, then they should be able to fix it to where it can't be reversed. I realize my daughter only has two and a half years until she turns 18. CPS has re-opened our case, surprisingly. So they could actually do something this time, but I will be very surprised if they do. They work very slowly and are swamped with cases, as you know. Part of the problem over the years has been the fact that when the authorities talk to my daughter about any of this, she tells them that nothing happened. When I ask her why she does this, she says its because she doesn't want her father to go to jail. I have been trying to talk to her about learning to speak up for herself. Any suggestions??? Thanks for reading this.

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