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how should i feel???

From: Seeking life!!!
Conditions of use: accepted & agree
Date: 26 Dec 2005
Time: 18:42:07
Remote Name:


My mother hasnt always been the "ideal" mother, I know that she has been through ALOT of hard times. She has overcome things that would make grown men crumble to their knees. She is a strong and independent individual. There is just that extra baggage that comes with having so many things happen to you, I know it isnt her fault and I dont want to shame her but...... Im starting to feel my world collapse around me. She has theese horrible spurts of anger and rage!!! She can't realize when she is wrong, or accept when people want to have differant oppinions. She is very extreme with her emotions she can go from happy to irrate over a peice of clothing missing!!! I feel like i have been burrden not only with my own misfortune in life, but her's aswell!! I feel like i'm her brick foundation and her emotional crutch. I feel so used up from having to be my mothers parent. But she wont understand how or why i feel resintment towrad her!!! I can feel it!! I feel myself hating her and at the same time trying to love her. My father has never really been in my life!! It's been me and my three sisters!! "that including my mother". She had my older sister when she was 19 i followed shortly after and then my younger sister 4 years later. I feel like she is trying to live through my "teenager life"!!! She has had sex with mulitple friends of mine!! ALL over eighteen, but thats not the point. She cant hold a relationship worth trying for. She meets men off the internet, half her age!!!! And now I have a seriose boyfriend who i love very much and it feels like she keeps trying to interfier. Either bacause she is jealouse of him or jealouse that i have found someone like him. I find her flirting with him, talking to him in a sexual manner usually involving sexual inuindos. When i present my feelings to her regarding this matter she tells me that i am being irrational. She tells me that it is her personality, I agree she is outgoing and my boyfriend is aswell but i think there should be a fine line or understood boundery between friend and my boyfriend!!!

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