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winning back my son after 2 years of lost rights

From: xcel413
Conditions of use: accepted & agree
Date: 11 May 2004
Time: 22:51:42
Remote Name:


To make a long story even longer,my son will be seven this June. For the first 4 years of his life I had residential parental rights and his father enjoyed flexible visitation. His father and I were never married and never even lived together until he decided to come back and try and work things out(my son was 3 1/2 at this time).My life was in full swing and then it crashed and burnt. I made the poor decision of moving in with him and his parents in hopes that we could finally try and be a family. Within a very short time I became severly depressed and felt no support from my son's father. I had had a long history of depression prior to having my son but for 3 1/2 years did very well until his father came back. I started to feel worthless,rejected and useless as a mom. I became suicidal and within a few more months, took my son back with me to live at my mom's. I sought therapy and was on medication but I could not shake the depression. I then made the worst mistake of my life and attempted suicide. For obvious reasons my son's father took me back to court and won full parental rights. I give him credit for stepping up and fighting for the best intrest of our son at the time. I must however explain that for the next 5 months after he had won he did not bother to take my son and move him in with him. It was not until mother's day that year that he called me to inform me he had met the woman of his dreams and planned on marrying her within the next few months. Also, he wanted me to prepare myself because now he was ready to come get our son just in time for pre-school to start and warned me they would be coming at the end of August.By this time I had found a really good job and was doing a 100 times better emotionally. I thought for sure the judge would see things my way and find him in contempt for not coming for our son when I was at my sickest mentally. To my horror and disbelief the judge and attorney's did not see my side and my son began his new life with dad and stepmom. It has been the longest 2 years of my life but finally I may have a second chance. I had to sort out what was truly in my son's best intrest even if that meant accepting my consequences and only seeing him on the weekends. The court granted me every other weekend and one 4 hour midweek visit but his father agreed to let me see him every weekend until February of this year. At that time his stepmom and I were struggling with eachother's views on rearing my son. Suddenly in retaliation to my complaints they decided to go back to the original court order and not let me see him every weekend but every other as originally decided by the court. I was devastated and so was my son. The only good news is that i obtained an attorney who told me that I have an excellent chance at getting my child back because of their actions and because I came to find out that my son's father was only spending about an hour a day with our child. He basically dumped all rights and responsibilities on the stepmom.I feel that if I am mentally well now as I know I am(thanks to much counseoling and Paxil) then why should I spend the next 11 years of my son's life on the sidelines while a non-biological stepparent raises our son with very little input from either of us?I am very intrested in hearing from others who have shared my experience or feel they have a valid oppinion for eaither side of this controversy. My court date is just aweek away and I will update here and let everyone know how things turn out. Thank you for your time and for making this forum available.

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